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Home»Latest»Greenhorns have got it plaid
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Greenhorns have got it plaid

info@thewitness.com.auBy info@thewitness.com.auApril 28, 2026No Comments3 Mins Read
Greenhorns have got it plaid
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April 28, 2026 — 9:00pm

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More newbie torment (C8), this time from Pauline McGinley of Drummoyne: “Teaching in Scotland in the 1970s, it wasn’t uncommon for ‘hair shirt’ students to be sent off on a quest for some of that elusive tartan paint. This usually involved searching through obscure cupboards until a much-needed break had ensued for the teacher.”

For apprentices, William Galton of Hurstville Grove remembers a similar swatch, although in his case it was striped paint, along with “skyhooks, packets of full stops and randy tarts. The latter for when you were sent to the cake shop to get the smoko.”

Paul Duncan of Leura has “a somewhat less fortunate story from the streets of Paddington (C8). Back in the 1960s we lived in a bald faced terrace (no front yard) and, when painting the lounge room, put the lounge suite on the footpath outside. We had never heard of the local rapid recycling service and when we went out to bring the lounges back in, they were gone. It was off to Vinnies for us.”

“Going one better than libraries lending wheelbarrows and ladders, etc (C8), there are libraries of people, called Human Libraries,” claims Barry Lamb of Eastwood. “They started in Denmark and there is one in Perth. They ‘lend out’ people of diverse backgrounds so ‘borrowers’ can get insights into people with different lifestyles and backgrounds.”

“There goes the Herald again, Americanising our language,” bemoans Donald Hawes of Peel. “It’s not a pacifier, dummy!”

David Price of Mosman says, “My all-time favourite bumper sticker (C8), once seen around Balmain, read ‘My karma just ran over your dogma’.”

Keeping in mind Aidan Cuddington was actually seeking alternatives to bumper stickers, Ian McNeilly of Darlinghurst writes: “On a trip to the vehicular hell that are the Los Angeles freeways, I spotted a sign in the back window of a large four-wheel-drive: ‘Cover me, I’m changing lanes’.”

Sticking with the Golden State, Sue Leong of Rose Bay says it’s “not really an alternative to bumper stickers but I still have the frame that held my Californian licence plate, which says ‘Driver reads braille’. Simple explanation: I taught students with vision impairments.”

Moving on to less popular stickers, Jo Flores of Ashfield has other concerns: “Don’t get me started. When are we going to ban fruit/veg stickers? Environmentally damaging and get stuck between the teeth. Sheesh. Little barcodes showing up in colonoscopies!”

Column8@smh.com.au
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