Wendy Crew of Lane Cove North was browsing a box of free books, when one stood out: The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump. “Space on our bookshelves is scarce so I passed. But now I’m curious. Has anyone had the intestinal fortitude to read this, and what’s the verdict? If you’d like to read it, it’s on Amazon for $34.08. And while in the mood, you may enjoy reading Vladimir Putin: Life Coach, $27.99.”
Everyone’s got a bindi (C8) tale like that of Lithgow’s Wolf Kempa, who attended a boozy 18th birthday at Coolah and stayed overnight: “Needing relief early in the morning, I vaulted out of the French windows onto a lawn consisting only of bindis. Woke every sheep and kelpie in the Central West.”
Russ Couch of Woonona could handle the bindis, but not “the wretched cats-eyes, aka three corner jacks, that wrought havoc on our cycling and our bare feet. Even thongs (foot-based, not the other sort!) were not enough protection.”
“I blame my primary school lines, as punishment (C8) sessions, for my appalling handwriting,” claims Andrew Taubman of Queens Park. “Scribbling 500 lines as fast as possible, legibility was not exactly my highest priority. When my mother realised what was happening she upbraided the school – Knox Grammar – and they changed the punishment to writing lines for a set period of time instead. Too late, alas; I should have become a doctor.”
Anne Kirman of Wilton reckons that “the only thing I remember from primary school is that Blaxland, Wentworth and Lawson crossed the Blue Mountains in 1813, after having to write it 100 times for some misdemeanour. Repetition clearly aids memory but is not a useful punishment as I have no recollection of what I actually did wrong and therefore what I must not do again.”
“North Sydney Technical High School [attended by none other than my dad – Granny] had no corporal punishment, only detention, says Bob Hall of Wyoming. “It was for one hour after school and was presided over by Mr Purnell, ‘Smiler’ to the boys. Whenever he dished out detentions, he’d smile. More so, if a student tried to argue the case, one, two, even three weeks (not days) were added. Detention meant missing the school special bus, and having to try my luck on public ones where conductors had little time for ‘little snots’. I learned quickly.”
Column8@smh.com.au
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