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Home»Latest»SMH Column 8: Tuesday, September 16, 2025
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SMH Column 8: Tuesday, September 16, 2025

info@thewitness.com.auBy info@thewitness.com.auSeptember 15, 2025No Comments3 Mins Read
SMH Column 8: Tuesday, September 16, 2025
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“The index of that great tome, Mrs Beeton’s Book of Household Management (all 1606 pages of it), has the item ‘flatulence’ located between ‘flapjacks’ and ‘flavourings’,” notes Brian Hayes of Epping. “On 70-plus years of experience, I would have thought it was more aligned with fruit and veg.”

More on monitors (C8), this time from Ron “Buckets” Wheeler of Wagga Wagga: “Not wanting to lower the tone but, a plum monitor’s job at Armidale Demonstration School in the late 1950s was that of Toilet Boy [Sounds like a superhero – Granny]. These lucky boys left class before home time to throw buckets of water on the non-flushing urinal walls and trough. They were then allowed, for some reason, to go straight home instead of returning to class.” I think we know why, Ron.

“When I was in grade four, the weekly monitor’s job was to go to the shop and buy the teacher his Bex powders,” recalls Lesley McBurney of Wavell Heights (Qld).

Robert Hosking of Paddington doesn’t know if it’s the influence of Column 8, “but when I put out the wheelie bins last week, they had been beautifully arranged into groups – red, yellow, green, and after the garbage men had come, obviously rearranged. We now have a Garbage Bin Monitor. Frustrated after their time as the duster monitor, perhaps?”

Fellow Paddingtonian Sandra Guy has sad news for locals: “Jim’s Butchery in Darlinghurst closed last Saturday. There has been a butcher there since the 1930s. Pete’s retiring. His father, Jim, took over in 1962. End of an era – and the best meat, service and prices in Sydney. Three generations have worked there. Jim (92), who still worked part-time until a few years ago, is still going strong. Tattoo parlour taking over.”

Sport now, with Brian Peck of Chatswood: “Following up on the assertion that there is only one Ashes [C8], I vehemently insist that there is only one World Cup, played with a round, inflated ball that the two teams attempt to place into nets without benefit of hand contact!” Unless, of course, it’s the Hand of God.

“The factory on the pack of Camel cigarettes [C8] reminds me of a beer launched in South Africa called Rogue,” writes John McCartney of Mount Coolum (Qld). “With an image of a rogue elephant on the can, it was one of few beers with a picture of the brewery.”

Column8@smh.com.au

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