After one month in Australia, cult hero coach Nils Nielsen has seen enough.
The wisecracking coach hit Australia where it hurts after leading Japan to its Asian Cup triumph over the Matildas in Sydney on Saturday night.
He saved his most scathing comment for his final press conference when he lightheartedly lamented the limited options available for his players to let down their hair and celebrate the country’s third AFC Women’s Asian Cup victory.
The veteran Greenlandic-Dane coach was asked how his team will celebrate its achievement and his response left reporters and media officials in the room laughing, viral videos show.
“Well, we have a very early flight tomorrow morning. And here in Australia, it’s such a strange country, you know, if the clock is more than 11, you can’t buy a beer,” he said.
“What kind of country is that? It’s almost like you should have support like we give in Denmark to the countries in Africa and stuff. We will do that so you can keep the bars open a bit longer.
“Because the most annoying thing, perhaps the only annoying thing about Australia is that you cannot get a beer when you’re thirsty. So how do you explain that? I thought it was a modern country, but no.”
You can watch Nielsen’s gag in the video player above
After being based in Perth for the first few weeks of the tournament, Japan moved its headquarters to Sydney for the knockout stages, playing their final three matches at Accor Stadium.
As Nielsen’s comments suggest, Sydney Olympic Park is not exactly known for its night-life.
Sydney is generally experiencing a trend of traditional late night venues closing up shop earlier than in previous years because of rising costs, urban sprawl and the reduced demand for late night venues by younger demographics.
Recent research shows alcohol consumption is declining in Australia, particularly among Generation Z.
A Flinders University study recently found Gen Z (born between 1997 and 2012) are nearly 20 times more likely to choose not to drink alcohol compared to Baby Boomers.
“Younger Australians are growing up in a different world – one where abstaining from alcohol is increasingly normal and where digital socialising, rising living costs, and health awareness are reshaping how people spend their time and money,” Flinders University co-author Kirrilly Thompson said last year.
Still, if Nils is sober against-his-will at 11.01pm, he simply isn’t trying hard enough.
There would not have been a lot of celebrating in the losing team’s dressing room after the Matildas squandered a number of golden opportunities to equalise in the second half.
Japan went through the tournament undefeated and broke the hearts of the host country when Maika Hamano’s first half wonder goal from the edge of the box took the life out of the 74,397 spectators watching on.
Nielsen said after the game he admired how hard the Aussies fought before the final whistle was blown, labelling the Matildas “a world-class team with world-class players”.
The eccentric coach was full of class in victory after earlier leaving reporters scratching their heads during a pre-game press conference.
When asked if he believes his side should be considered favourites for the final, Nielsen responded: “I will be completely honest with you, that question about who’s the favourite in the final, it’s like asking a bee to explain to a fly why honey is better than s***.
“We are talking about a final in a major tournament. Both teams can win. Why is it even interesting in a final to discuss who are the favourites?”
“Next time I get a chance to see a fly, I will ask them, ‘Why the hell are you sitting on s*** when there’s honey right next to it?’ And then they say, ‘For me, it tastes better.’ OK, go ahead. I don’t like s***, so you can have it. I go for the honey.
“Maybe Joe [Matildas coach Montemurro] has a different opinion. But the question itself, I cannot give you an answer.”
Nielsen’s players did at least get to celebrate on the field.
Japan was gracious in victory, forming a guard of honour for the Australians and even high-fiving their opponents as the Matildas walked up to the podium to receive their second-placed medals.
“I’m very lucky to be working with players that are that good,” Nielsen, a former Denmark and Switzerland coach, said.
“Japan can be an inspiration for many in some ways. We can find a style that fits our players because they are talented.
“We couldn’t find our own rhythm but the character of the players, the way they never stop playing, makes us 10-20 per cent better.
“It’s nice to be good, it’s nice to be charming but if you don’t win the tournament, it doesn’t count.
“We didn’t play as well as we could have but they still made it count. It’s been too long since Japan last won a trophy so it was very important and well-deserved.”
Both teams will now turn their attention to the 2027 World Cup in Brazil.
Montemurro said the Asian Cup had been “an excellent journey” for his squad despite the bitter finish.
“I’ve got 26 warriors out there that for 21 days have been absolutely fantastic,” he said.
“Sometimes things fall for you, sometimes they don’t. But I think for us, this has been an excellent journey. We played top teams, and that’s what we wanted.
“We solidified ‘us’ as a footballing team, and what we mean,” he added.
“We now have to start looking forward, and I’ll try to keep the belief going.”
