The Maroons jersey is interwoven with such celestial powers it can make a Queenslander grow a second leg or even a third head.
But unless this year’s comes fitted with a prosthetic mojo, it won’t have enough to reinvigorate Cameron Munster out of his harrowing form slump.
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Yes, the Maroons skipper is usually the first name on the team sheet for Queensland, and yes, Queenslanders always ‘rise to the occasion’ and all that rubbish.
But his footy is so uncharacteristically turgid right now that it would not only be a dereliction of duty by Billy Slater to pick him, but almost an act of self-sabotage.
That’s why the coach must put aside friendship and make the ballsy call to dump Munster for the series opener, even if it leaves a gaping hole in his side’s leadership and bonding itinerary.
Munster has forever been the barometer of the Melbourne Storm and this year has been no different, and that’s because both are in an uncontrolled nosedive nobody saw coming.
The Storm are in uncharted suffering off the paddock following Eli Katoa’s indefinite concussion layoff, Tui Kamikamica’s stroke and now the bombshell of coach Craig Bellamy being diagnosed with a degenerative neurological condition.
But add a bleak seven-game losing streak to the heart wrenching news of Tui, Eli and Belly, and the club is in a place arguably darker than its salary cap years.
Munster’s form has suffered in lock-step, with the talisman’s output plummeting to such an extent that he admitted on his 167 podcast he’d recently questioned “a lot of things” including whether he can still “play the game of rugby league.”
Following an enormous 2025 where he lead the Storm to the Grand Final and the Maroons to a stirring 2-1 series win over the Blues, Munster’s numbers this season have plunged like an anvil off a cliff.
After averaging just under one try assist per game last campaign, Munster has only registered four in nine games this season along with one paltry line break, all while returning less average tackle busts (1.88 down from 2.95) and running metres (92 per game down from 104).
But the most concerning aspect of the 245-gamer’s footy is the downturn in his trademark metric: anarchy.
Forget numbers and structures, Munster is at his best when he’s Livin’ la Vida Loca and playing like he’s got 25 browsers open in his brain at once.
An enemy of order who thinks structure is woke, it’s this chaotic quality of Munster’s that rival sides always feared ‘how will we know what he’s gonna do if he doesn’t know himself’.
But nowadays Munster is playing like he DOES know what he’s gonna do, and that’s sadly not much.
Admittedly he’s been forced to curb his instincts in recent times after spending more time at first receiver due to Jahrome Hughes’ various injury setbacks, an unfortunate necessity that has not been helped playing behind a pack getting constantly liquefied.
But regardless of the factors at play, it’s inescapable Munster’s footy has been left predictable, and now largely containable.
Of course, Queenslanders will be deeply affronted by the suggestion their Wally 2.0 should be axed, especially after he heroically dragged the Maroons to victory in last year’s decider despite his father passing away only days earlier.
But despite all the runs he has on the board as a Big Game Player, it would take the most ardent Maroons diehard to argue his current output places him higher on the halves pecking order above Ezra Mam, Tanah Boyd, Sam Walker or arguably even Daniel Wagon.
That’s why it’s time for Billy to use that third head and ignore all urges to pick-and-stick, otherwise risk his loyalty looking like lunacy.
– Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad. He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.
