There was one thing only child Gai Williams was certain of from a young age: she had no intention of having only one child herself.
Articulate, self-sufficient, “pretty good” at sharing and “very good” at keeping herself occupied, the 73-year-old rejects most negative stereotypes that pop-psychologists swear prove the debunked “only child syndrome” is alive and well.
But there is one stereotype, as Williams reveals in the video below, that she does lend weight to.
While she was surrounded by cousins and friends growing up, her father’s job meant the family-of-three had to move around often. Bouncing between schools and new classmates without a sibling to lean on made life, at times, lonely.
Most only children from across the country this masthead spoke to for the video above, however, wouldn’t trade their childhood for one with siblings.
“I loved being an only child,” says 29-year-old Mikaela Charles, from Sydney. She would not have minded having someone she could speak to at home about boys, but her old-school music knowledge is top-notch, and she enjoyed the family holidays that might not have been on offer had they had more mouths to feed.
“We were able to do a lot more as a family, I think, than if there were more of me,” she says. “I’ve also seen siblings fight, physically, so there are parts where I’m like, ‘Oh, OK, maybe I’m good with where I’m at.’ ”
Melbourne business owner Ali Clarke, 43, says growing up around adults made her mature faster. As does 30-year-old Sydneysider Adrian Begg, who has been independent from a young age.
First Nations artist Mitch Tambo remembers his primary school principal telling his mother, “Wow, sometimes we forget we’re even talking to a kid.”
All take issue with the “spoiled brat” label, which they say is a myth.
“You can be one of 16 and be spoiled and carry on and have a bad attitude; it all comes down to parenting,” says Tambo.
The 36-year-old is raising four girls in Melbourne with his wife, Lele, and adores watching their daughters’ bond. But he doesn’t feel jealous of it.
Neither would Sydney horticulturalist Felicity Moody, whose childhood realisation that siblings have to share their parents’ love has stuck with her for decades.
“It weirded me out so much, like, ‘What do you mean they don’t get all their parents’ love?’ Moments like that definitely reaffirmed me that I was really happy being an only child,” says the 37-year-old.
In Perth, Elise Prior is another satisfied recipient of her mother’s undivided attention. Has that made her selfish, entitled, or any anti-social quality that many say growing up without siblings fosters? The 27-year-old answers the question with another.
“Have you ever heard of friends?”
As single-child families rise, this masthead asked only children about the realities of growing up without siblings. To see their full responses – including their experiences and what they plan to do as their parents age – watch the video above.
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Bronte Gossling is a reporter for The Sydney Morning Herald, The Age, WAtoday and Brisbane Times.Connect via email.
Pablo Barnes is a Video Journalist for The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald.Connect via email.