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Home»Latest»Engaging in diplomacy, cup in hand
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Engaging in diplomacy, cup in hand

info@thewitness.com.auBy info@thewitness.com.auJanuary 26, 2026No Comments3 Mins Read
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January 26, 2026 — 9:00pm

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On the back of Caroline Davies’ swimming bronze, legions of C8-ers are making sure every POTUS gets a prize and are stepping up to hand over their awards to Donald Trump (C8). So, in the interests of world peace, Mike Kirby of Castle Hill will part ways with his Chanel College Geelong, 1962 Midget Swimming Champion cup, and adds that he’s “happy to post it to him with a $US10 billion valuation so that he can pay the correct tariff.” Valerie Bray of East Killara will “throw in my 1958 bronze medal for ballroom dancing”, while Janice Creenaune of Austinmer has a whole box of physical culture trophies and medals that “would be especially cherished”.

Marie Stewart of Balmain, a long-time fan, can explain the Australian connection to the Steely Dan song Black Friday (C8): “It’s about a speculator who made his fortune in the American gold market before it crashed on 24 Sept 1869 [like so many pop songs – Granny]. They said they chose Muswellbrook because it was the place most far away from LA they could think of and the word fitted the meter of the song and rhymed with ‘book’ in the next line of the song. Having been to Australia, Fagen and Becker knew about kangaroos and that rhymes with ‘shoes’.”

“I read somewhere that spellchecker (C8) is dead,” notes Barrie Restall of Teven. “May it rust in piss.”

“Congrats to Naomi Osaka for her attempt to improve tennis fashions with her Robert Wun designed jellyfish outfit at the Australian Open,” declares Nola Tucker of Kiama. “But I still reckon our Ash Barty’s tribute with the Goolagong dress was better.”

Your number’s up, Josephine Piper of Miranda: “LA4650 was our old number (C8). LL2048 was my grandmother’s number. I know my landline number, but my mobile? Fuhgeddaboudit.” Paree Hartley of North Sydney adds: “I am now 92, and I have just recalled my family phone number – JM4688.”

“A nephew, who sometimes floats above the mundanity of life, bought a ‘new’ used car on the internet marketplace, and the car turned out to belong to neighbours around the corner,” writes Donald Hawes of Peel. “He sent a photo of the car to his partner’s father, who zoomed in on the number plate and discovered that the car had belonged to him, and he had sold it to the neighbour. They’re calling it a homing Mazda.”

Column8@smh.com.au

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