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Home»Latest»Dialled in for that eye test
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Dialled in for that eye test

info@thewitness.com.auBy info@thewitness.com.auFebruary 2, 2026No Comments3 Mins Read
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February 2, 2026 — 9:00pm

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“I’ve been reading the stories about old phone numbers (C8) and was reminded that during a recent eye test in suburban Sydney, my wife was shown a page of text in progressively smaller print.,” writes Alan Smith of Roseville. “One of the examples was taken from a Kempsey telephone directory printed around 40 years ago. It was the page listing our address and phone number at the time. The test proceeded as normal.”

Ever the thinker, George Manojlovic of Mangerton writes: “The recent spate of hot weather is taking quite an evaporative toll on my swimming pool, so to keep my water bill from exploding, I’ve decided to top the pool up using a high-pressure washer, as I’m told they use up to 80 per cent less water than a conventional hose.”

“If anyone feels so inclined to endure the Melania documentary (C8), they may be a bit confused when trying to find the screenings at their local cinema,” reckons James Cheeseman of North Ryde. “A quick scan of the titles currently screening had me wondering which one it could be: The Housemaid? Back to the Past? Mercy? or maybe Return to Silent Hill? And then I saw the obvious title – Send Help.”

You’ve probably already seen this one, but this offering from Christo Curtis of Beaconsfield is our favourite: “I read somewhere that Abraham Lincoln said watching Melania was the worst experience he’s ever had in a theatre.”

“If you’re after a C8 catalogue (C8), look no further than page 280 of Gavin Souter’s 667-page tome Company of Heralds,” advises Allan Gibson of Cherrybrook. “Granny’s 1947 innocence was described as containing ‘oddities of news, acid items of comment, and revelations about public figures, always with some touch of humour’.”

Hugh Barrett of Sanctuary Point adds: “My daughter refers, somewhat unkindly in my view, to Column 8 as ‘Facebook for geriatrics’.”

“I hadn’t sighted many for a while, but the other day I spotted a ute with ‘& Sons’ tagged on the end of a company’s name,” notes Mary Carde of Parrearra (Qld). “This got me wondering why I’ve never seen a ute or company car with ‘& Daughters’ attached to a business name. Am I the only one?”

“Sure a lot of manure (C8) is imported,” says Andrew Taubman of Queens Park. “Just look at the news coming out of the United States.”

Column8@smh.com.au

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