Job interviews are strange arenas. Capable people walk in prepared and walk out wondering why their brain suddenly forgot things it’s known for years.
I’ve worked with senior leaders, high-potential graduates and seasoned executives for over a decade, and I can say this with confidence: interview nerves are common, human, and say far less about ability than most people think.
Yet, we still keep to a comfortable myth that interviews reward the most qualified person. In reality, they often reward the person who can access their competence under pressure. That’s an entirely different skill. And we don’t teach it enough.
The moment evaluation and judgement enter the room, the nervous system goes into overdrive. Your heart rate rises, your memory retrieval dips, self-consciousness creeps in, and suddenly, a simple question feels loaded.
So beyond rehearsing answers, here are three practical ways to show up with calm, credible confidence.
1. Treat it as a two-way conversation. One mistake many candidates make is they approach the interview with desperation: you have a job, and I need that job. But that can turn into tension, or worse, desperation.
Instead of saying, “I handle pressure well”, describe a time you managed a tight deadline or a difficult stakeholder.
That mindset creates pressure instantly. And when people feel desperate to impress, they become overly self-conscious, monitoring how they sound, how they look, whether they’re saying the “right” thing. That’s when answers get stiff and authenticity disappears.
A stronger frame is mutual evaluation. Yes, the employer is assessing capability. But you’re also assessing fit. Is the role, the culture, the leadership, the growth something that’s aligned with what you want? This is a two-way decision.
This shift changes how the brain reads the situation, and that changes how you show up.
2. Replace adjectives with evidence. Early in my career, I conducted thousands of screening interviews. I constantly heard: I’m proactive. I’m a strong communicator. I’m a team player.
None of these landed without evidence. What made someone stand out was when they provided a specific example or short story to back up what they were saying.
Instead of saying, “I handle pressure well,” describe a time you managed a tight deadline or a difficult stakeholder. Paint the picture briefly. What happened, what action you took, what changed as a result.
For example, “Two weeks before a product launch, our supplier pulled out. I sourced alternatives and reworked the timeline with the team. As a result, we launched only three days late and kept our biggest client.”
People remember stories and they trust examples.
3. Calm the body first. Interview anxiety is physiological. Trying to “think calm” rarely works if the body feels under threat. The body needs to know it’s safe first. So here are two simple tools you can use in the moment to help signal internal safety and help regulate your state.
First, before the interview begins, breathe with a longer exhale (for instance, inhale for four counts, exhale for eight). A slow, extended exhale tells the nervous system there’s no immediate threat.
Second, ground your posture. Whether you’re standing or sitting, plant your feet firmly on the ground, relax your shoulders, and hold your chin level. Because of the brain-body feedback loop, your posture influences how steady and assured you feel, and how you appear.
Interviews rarely reveal the full picture of someone’s capability. All they do is capture a narrow snapshot of how someone handles evaluation, judgement, uncertainty and pressure in a short window of time. It’s an imperfect system, but it’s the one most workplaces still rely on.
Anxiety often shows up because something matters. But left unmanaged, it can distort how capable you appear. That’s why the person who manages their nerves best in the moment often ends up being the one who gets the callback.
Shadé Zahrai, PhD, is the bestselling author of Big Trust: Rewire Self-Doubt, Find Your Confidence, and Fuel Success. She’s also a behavioral researcher and award-winning peak performance educator.
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Shadé Zahrai, PhD, is the bestselling author of Big Trust: Rewire Self-Doubt, Find Your Confidence, and Fuel Success. She’s a behavioral researcher and award-winning peak performance educator trusted by Fortune 100 companies to build confident, high-performing leaders and teams.Connect via Facebook or email.