I have some sympathy for this hypothesised version of the boss. They have, probably without meaning to, lost themselves in a commercial venture and may have no way of returning to a life many of us enjoy – one in which the professional and personal remain entirely separate.
But I have absolutely no sympathy for their decision to foist this unhappy life upon anyone else. That seems to be precisely what they’re doing to Maria. So, no, this is very much a boss problem.
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How does Maria overcome it? It sounds like the threat of resignation is out of the question. Maria has been at this workplace for too long to suddenly pull up stumps and begin again elsewhere.
It also sounds like even if Maria plucked up the courage to demand time off for this special occasion, she has convinced herself it would be a futile exercise; no amount of explanation from her would convince the thoroughly stuck-in-their-ways boss that it was warranted.
So let me propose something that may initially sound a bit off-the-wall: what if Maria doesn’t affect the change. What if you do? What if you, and perhaps other members of your family, petition the boss?
You could do it with a sternly worded letter highlighting how unfair and tyrannical it is to severely restrict an employee’s personal life for the sake of a business – and how worried you are about her wellbeing.
I know, however, you desperately don’t want to get Maria in trouble, so I think a better option might be to accentuate the positive: to outline in a carefully worded email (or even a handwritten letter) how thoroughly unimaginable it would be for this never-to-be-held-again family event to go ahead without Maria in attendance, and why that makes it vital that Maria can take leave outside the “usual” times.
This, of course, is no substitute for the boss getting a cold, hard reality check and coming to understand that this isn’t Dickensian England, and labour isn’t mere meat for the industrial grinder. But for now, and for your specific purposes, it could just be enough.
Send your Work Therapy questions to jonathan@theinkbureau.com.au
