“One of the last games Joshua attended was my 300th at Belmore last year,” Papalii recalls. “That day a lot of my family and friends had come into the sheds, and Joshua barged in and started verbally stimming [repetitive movements of sounds] the whole time.
Four-year-old Joshua Papalii loves the water.
“We had lost and ‘Sticky’ [Stuart] was addressing the group, and he could see me trying to put my hand over Joshua’s mouth. He stopped and said, ‘Papa, let him go, he’s all right’. Joshua was walking around and throwing ice at everyone. But Sticky understood. That’s another reason I’ll always love Stick.
“He helped us get Joshua to Sydney a year earlier to get tested.
“My wife was the one who picked up on the signs early, and how Joshua wasn’t hitting the milestones like his older sister and brother. Autism was already in my family.
“When he wasn’t talking at two, and that’s when we noticed he would cover his eyes and ears in busy places and start to scream. My wife hasn’t been to a game in over a year because it’s just too hard, especially with Joshua and the chances of him running amok.”
Papalii recently went to a Chinese restaurant with fellow Raiders player Pasami Saulo and offered the owners a couple of hundred dollars if they could seat them in a private room to help Joshua feel comfortable and lessen the chances of a problem.
Josh Papalii celebrates scoring a try in his record-equalling 318th game for the Raiders.Credit: Getty Images
Joshua has long hair – not a famous mullet like his father – and is still yet to have a haircut after all these years because of his sensory needs. Another challenge has been getting him to pose for photos.
Papalii said it would have been too difficult to get Joshua to pose for a family photo for this story, and was still yet to receive a passport because he cannot stay still long enough for the required headshot.
“There was talk of me going to St Helens next year, and the first thing that came to mind was, how will the kids go on the long flight, especially Joshua?” Papalii says.
“We still haven’t been able to get him a passport because he refuses to look at the camera for the photo. We can’t physically hold him down for the picture. We’ll keep trying. We’ll get the passport … and his hair cut.”
Papalii and Stuart share a close bond. The coach teared up when the prop kicked a goal in his milestone game earlier this year.
Stuart has become close with the family, to the point the children refer to the coach as “Uncle Sticky”.
“I’ve been with him more than 10 years, and he’s been such a massive help to me and my family,” Papalii says. “We’ve had a lot of highs and lows together on the field.
“When we lost the semi to Cronulla, Sticky was sitting there by himself in Joe Tapine’s locker and was sad and almost frozen. Noa spotted him, walked over, gave him a kiss on the cheek and a cuddle, then came back and joined the family.
“That’s the impact Sticky has on our family.
Josh Papalii and Samoa celebrate victory over England to reach the final of the World Cup in 2022.Credit: Getty Images
“Things can get emotional. When Joshua starts to say a word we have spent so long teaching him, it brings a tear to your eye.
“I’m not much of a crier. I won’t lie, I’ll do most of my crying when I’m driving by myself, and if I start to think about my wife and my kids or my parents.
“The only other time I cry is when I’m 20 beers deep, and I’m telling ‘Taps’ [Tapine] or Tom Starling how much I love them.”
When he retires, Papalii wants to work with disadvantaged and neurodivergent children and their families. He is already an ambassador for Win The Day charity, a non-profit organisation that aims to raise awareness and help families impacted by childhood cancer. Papalii even auctioned off the jersey from his 300th game at a golf day on Thursday. He and Tapine shot six-under par and still lost the event, but his prized jersey fetched $10,000 for the charity.
Papalii will head into camp on Monday with Samoa for the Pacific Championships, and join a pack that features Junior Paulo, Terrell May and high-profile addition Payne Haas.
Papalii and Paulo piled on more than 20kgs between them when representing Samoa at the 2017 World Cup, which prompted Stuart to order the pair to start training immediately.
“What about our holiday?” the pair famously asked Stuart at the time, only for the coach to respond: “You blokes just had a holiday at the World Cup.”
Papalii also played with Haas for Australia in 2019 when the Roos were stunned by Tonga for the first time at Eden Park.
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The chance to link with Haas again is one Papalii truly appreciates. Jason Taumalolo was 24 and in his prime when he defected to Tonga from New Zealand for the 2017 World Cup. Haas is 25 and the hottest prop in the game right now.
“I don’t think Payne realises what his decision means to Samoa,” Papalii says. “I get to play with one of the best front-rowers every week in Canberra with Joe Tapine. Now it’s an honour to play with a guy who could be the best front-rower ever. It’s massive he’s picked Samoa.
“For an old bloke like myself to come into camp, it’s such a joy.
“I played with Payne in 2019 with the Aussies. I felt like a few of us were underdone that year, including myself who had come off a week of partying and drinking after the grand final. I felt like we weren’t as committed as we should have been.
“It will be different this next month. My goal was to play in the Pacific Championships. When we play Tonga at Suncorp Stadium, I know half of Logan will be there supporting Samoa.
“My wife, my family, seeing Joshua swim for hours at Jamberoo, that’s what brings me joy. Canberra, Samoa, Queensland, that’s the cherry on top.”
