I confess no little satisfaction.
For two-and-a-half yonks your humble correspondent has been ranting – yes, on and on and onnnnn – about the horrors of wall-to-wall sports gambling ads, plastered over every moving part of sports, from the coverage, to the jerseys, to the names of the stadiums.
It has been a bonanza for the sports organisations, and the media that carry the ads, and a catastrophe for the community.
This week, finally, the Albanese government has announced that they are at last bloody well going to do something about it.
Listening to sweet reason, they have come to the conclusion that while too much sport might indeed never be enough, a million gambling ads broadcast every year on Australian free-to-air TV and radio is way too much, as is punters losing over – count it – $30 billion a year, according to a report by Equity Economics, in gambling.
So, from July, gambling ads will be capped at a maximum of three per hour between 6am and 8:30pm; there’ll be no gambling ads during live sports broadcasts in those hours; on radio gambling ads will be banned during school drop-off (8am–9am) and pick-up (3pm–4pm); online gambling ads are banned unless the user is verified as over 18; and there’ll be no more celebrities in gambling ads, while all those wretched ads aimed specifically at sports fans saying you can “beat the odds,” are also banned.
Oh, uniforms and sports venues can no longer be branded with gambling ads.
Excellent! Now we can all get some sleep, and hopefully the shocking damage done by these ads which rip money out of the demographic that can least afford it, will be lessened.
But, what now?
Well, now, you will see the backlash, particularly from the NRL, which will scream like before that they’ve been done down, that “we’ll all be rooned”.
You’re right – we can look upon such squeals with some acid amusement, particularly Peter V’landys’ blandishments that this is, and I quote, “nanny state ideology”. For what else can they say, after ravaging their own fans for so long, with so little control?
But step into the next booth to look, with a little more specificity, at the arguments they’ll put up, and what nonsense they are. We’ve been through them before, but mark the responses off on your bingo card, together with the answers to their nonsense.
Dismantling the pro-gambling ad arguments
“We are not children,” they’ll say, “and we should be able to make up our own minds whether or not we gamble.”
Answer: Yes, but the children are children. And as Senator David Pocock noted in an a couple of years ago, “When three out of four young people now think betting is just a normal part of enjoying sport, [when] as a country that loses the most per capita in the world, $25 billion a year, [we have a problem].” Get it?
Three out of four young people think gambling on sport is normal, instead of what it is, a sure-fire way to lose money that never fails! And behind that figure lies lives ruined, families torn apart, young men who have committed suicide because of the hole that they have got themselves into with gambling addictions.
It took a while for the government to get moving on it, but now they have, who the hell can seriously argue?
“The wowsers have won,” they’ll say.
Answer: Oh, naff off. The laughable “wowsers” charge would stick if the government was banning all gambling. They’re not. And they’re not even banning gambling ads. They’re simply moving it closer to the situation with smoking: do it if you must, but you can no longer make glamorous to children
that which is demonstrably damaging.
“Without the revenue from gambling advertising,” they’ll say, “important industries such as free-to-air television and your favourite sports team will die.”
Answer: I call bullshit. EXACTLY the same arguments were put forth by tobacco for sports particularly. “Rugby league would die without Winfield money!” It was nonsense then, and is nonsense now. All that has happened is that sport will no longer be able to shake down their own fans for cash by endlessly exposing them to the toxic gambling industry.
All up, it might be a tough week for sports organisations that have relied on that filthy money, but it is a great week for sports communities, and most particularly the younger members.
Arnold and Iraq the good news we need
I need it. You need it. We all need some good news out of the Middle East!
Since Donald Trump (don’t get me started) decided that the world would be a safer place if the USA and Israel dropped more bombs in that part of the globe – you know, because it always ends so well – it is not quite that the world has gone to hell in a hand-cart, but we can certainly see it from here.
The good news is that in the middle of all that, somehow Iraq qualified for their first World Cup in 40 years by beating Bolivia 2-1 in Mexico, and all under the tutelage of Australia’s own Graham Arnold at the helm.
The sidebar that interests me though is that Arnold was partly able to do so through the wonderful services of picking just the right interpreter.
See, more than a decade go, Arnie had big dramas with interpreters when he coached in Japan with the club Vegalta Sendai, as his reckoning was that they weren’t passing on exactly what he was saying, and were even out to undermine him.
So this time he got a bloke he knew and trusted, Ali Abbas, who made headlines back in 2007, when, after playing for the Iraqi Under-23 side against the Olyroos in an Olympic Games qualifier in Gosford, he and two others sought asylum in Australia, where he went on to play for Arnold at Sydney FC in the A-League.
When the Iraq Federation first wanted to hire Arnold, they went through Abbas to contact him.
The Australian only agreed if he could have Abbas as his translator, and everyone lived happily ever after.
To quote my colleague Vince Rugari: “Hiring Abbas, a good friend with deep knowledge of football slang in both countries, was a genius move by Arnold, who was brought undone by the language barrier in Japan many years ago.”
Arnie, himself, couldn’t agree more.
“I can see the emotion in his face and eyes at times about what he wants to help do for the country,” Arnold said. “When I get that feeling out of him, it gives me the passion as well.”
Socceroos strip a shocker
Meantime, however, what’s doing with this Socceroos away jersey, which the Socceroos wore in their mid-week match against Curacao – an “island state in the Caribbean, part of the Kingdom of the Netherlands”, seeing as you are asking.
Is there anything wrong with the basic theme of green and gold Australian teams have used both home and away since the days when Jesus played fullback for Jerusalem?
Football Australia says, and I am not making this up, “The Away kit is inspired by Australian sunrises, representing the forward momentum of taking football in Australia into the future, featuring a coral and dark green gradient, while a lenticular federation crest introduces dimensional movement.”
If that was not done by AI, I’ll stand tooting.
Who, honestly, looks at that mess, mists up and says, “that reminds me of Australian sunrises”? And while a sunrise might indeed represent the dawn of a new age, how does it represent “forward momentum”?
That phrase in itself is if not quite a tautology, at least has a redundant word, while also saying the same thing twice, and also repeating itself. Meantime, who knows what a “lenticular federation crest” is?
And how does it introduce “dimensional movement”? For that matter, what is dimensional movement?
Forget it. Bring back the old Socceroos strip. No explanation necessary, beyond: “This kit boasts the national sporting colours of our great land, and not only connects the Socceroos with other great Australian teams and athletes past and present, with the strip of great Socceroos teams past.”
What they said
Headline in the New York Post, after Tiger Woods latest car crash disaster: “DUI Of The Tiger.”
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese to the Press Club, at last announcing much needed reforms to sports gambling: “We are getting the balance right. Letting adults have a punt if they want to, but making sure our children don’t see betting ads everywhere they look. Because we don’t want kids growing up thinking that footy and gambling are inextricably linked.” [See opening rant.]
Former Socceroos coach Graham Arnold, on guiding Iraq to be the 48th and last qualifier for this year’s World Cup: “I’m so happy that we’ve made 46 million people happy – especially with what’s going on in the Middle East at the moment, I’m just so happy for them.”
Port Adelaide president David Koch: “We’re rebooting, rather than rebuilding.” Glad we got that sorted out!
Carlton’s Sam Walsh on their great first halves and horrible second ones: “The biggest thing for us, probably, we might need to run through the banner two times, I reckon, reset the game.” Try rebooting?
Italian Vincenzo Montella on being Turkey coach in the World Cup playoff: “I can think like a Turk. I eat like a Turk. I act like a Turk. That’s why I feel like a Turk.”
Italy coach Gennaro Gattuso not worried about the Bosnian fans: “As for the fans, they don’t score goals, that’s never happened to me.”
Kyle Shanahan of the 49ers, on their coming game at the MCG: “That was our goal, to go 19 hours away to play a game.”
Wales coach Craig Bellamy – no, the other one – after they were knocked out of World Cup qualifying rounds: “We’re going to hurt, but there’s a bright future. It’s hard to think about now, even though I’m trying. I’ll think about that tomorrow morning because that hurt is sinking in now. Tomorrow the sun will rise and I’m going to watch that sunrise.”
Donald Trump vouching for Tiger Woods after his crash: “I feel so badly. He’s got some difficulty. There was an accident, and that’s all I know. Very close friend of mine. He’s an amazing person, amazing man. But some difficulty.” With four such episodes, the wonder is he hasn’t killed anyone.
Sea Eagles coach Anthony Seibold after losing to the Roosters, on whether his job was at risk: “I’m three games into a two-year extension, so it hasn’t been a focus for me.” He didn’t make sundown of the next day, before being sacked.
Manly interim coach Kieran Foran: “I’m not Anthony Seibold. I’m not Des Hasler. I’m Kieran Foran. I want to make sure I stay true to that.” Sounds like a plan, coach. Foran is, however, a good egg with a fine football brain. I suspect he will go better.
Virat Kohli after playing the opening match of the IPL after not playing since last year’s IPL final:
“Whenever I come back to play, it’s 120 per cent.”
Oscar Piastri after he finished second in Japan. First race of the year that he’s gotten off the starting grid: “We’re pretty good when we start.”
Team of the Week
Kieran Foran. Took over as Manly coach, only for them to turn into the
Panthers on a good day – blitzing the Dolphins by 50 odd points!
South Australia. Back-to-back Shield winners for the very first time.
Oscar Piastri. Got the car going and finished second in Japan! Now up to sixth in the
standings.
Kylie Minogue. Locked in to do the AFL grand final pre-game entertainment.
Olivia Dean. The NRL is going after the Englishwoman to do their own grand final pre-game show.
Olivia Fox. While I think of it, Rugby Australia should lock in the young Indigenous woman now, to give her rendition of I Am, You Are, We Are Australian, with an Indigenous verse – and her brother on didgeridoo – to sing before the Wallabies’ first match in next year’s World Cup.
Peter FitzSimons is a journalist and columnist with The Sydney Morning Herald.Connect via X.