Updated ,first published
Australia’s social services minister has accused Married at First Sight, the nation’s most popular reality-TV show, of giving a platform to coercive control, after a male contestant agreed that he might want a romantic partner that is more like an “obedient” dog than an equal.
Tanya Plibersek, who has been leading the government’s push against domestic violence since taking over the portfolio in May, urged parents not to let their children watch the series, which she said had normalised unhealthy, controlling behaviours.
“Obedience is not a relationship preference. It’s about exerting power and control over women. We know that exerting power and control too often leads to violence,” Plibersek said.
She said coercive control – manipulative and abusive behaviours deployed to maintain power in a relationship – was an insidious form of family and domestic violence that governments were moving to outlaw and educate people on.
“It would be terrific if the networks felt a responsibility to play their part as well,” Plibersek said.
She wrote earlier in a social media post: “When men who idolise ‘submissive’ and ‘obedient’ women are normalised on prime-time TV, it means coercive control is given a national platform.”
Plibersek posted a clip of the show’s companion series, MAFS: After the Dinner Party, on Tuesday, which showed host Laura Byrne challenging the views of contestant Tyson Gordon on what his role as a man in a relationship should be.
“If you want someone who is obedient, yes, it’s controlling, and you want a dog,” Byrne said.
Gordon replied: “Maybe that’s what I want.”
He later backtracked when challenged by the panel of hosts, saying: “I don’t want a literal dog, but I want to be man of the house.”
The intervention from Plibersek is the latest condemnation of Married at First Sight, which has repeatedly courted controversy for its depiction of problematic behaviour.
Last year, contestant Paul Antoine allegedly punched the wall of the bedroom he shared with on-screen wife Carina Mirabile during an argument about her previous sexual partners – a topic that Gordon has also expressed discomfort with on the show this season.
The behaviour was labelled “toxic, inappropriate and unacceptable” by the show’s in-house relationship experts on air, but some fans and domestic violence experts criticised the reality-TV series for allowing Antoine to continue in the experiment and not using the moment to have a broader conversation about coercive control.
NSW Police also launched an investigation into the incident, which has since been closed and no further police action is expected.
“I really do think the makers of this show need to think twice before platforming this sort of misogyny,” Plibersek said of this latest incident.
She urged parents to prevent their children from watching and being exposed to the behaviours aired.
“That’s not entertaining, it’s incredibly dangerous. This is the exact kind of cultural messaging we’re trying to change,” the minister said.
Plibersek said the problematic content could be peddled online and used to radicalise young boys.
“It takes just 23 minutes for a 16 to 18-year-old boy who’s scrolling on the internet to be fed misogynistic content,” she said. “So even if the show is contextualising it – and I congratulate them for doing that – the clip itself will be taken out of context, and will feed this sort of the normalisation of control and coercion in relationships.”
Plibersek said more than half of sexual assault victims were under the age of 18.
“It’s by and large boys under the age of 18 assaulting girls under the age of 18. So we do really need to challenge what’s going on in social media and in popular culture that is normalising this behaviour,” she said.
Reflecting on previous controversies, before this season’s premiere, the show’s long-running relationship expert John Aiken told this masthead last month that he took pleasure in being able to “highlight the inappropriateness of that behaviour”.
“I wanted to be the person to call it out, to make very clear to the audience and to the group that this is unacceptable,” he said.
Aiken said the show was “unscripted” and unpredictable and argued production could not foresee such events.
Channel 9, which broadcasts MAFS, has been approached for comment on this latest incident – as has Laura Byrne, the co-host who confronted Gordon on After the Dinner Party.
Stan, which broadcasts After the Dinner Party, is owned by Nine which also owns this masthead.
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Brittany Busch is a federal politics reporter for The Age and Sydney Morning Herald.Connect via email.
Meg Watson is deputy TV editor at The Age and Sydney Morning HeraldConnect via X or email.